In the wilds of inner Melbourne, a rare species emerges.
The semi-functional adult.
Observe as it navigates its natural habitat:
a refreshed 1968 dwelling, tucked quietly at the rear of the herd.
Morning light floods in.
Instant serotonin.
Unearned, but effective.
The red kitchen glows.
A bold mating display designed to attract attention
and disguise poor nutritional habits.
Stainless steel shines. The dishwasher hums.
Cupboards hide secrets.
Here, the creature brews coffee.
Oat milk, single origin, morally superior.
It dresses for the day.
Black puffer. Lululemon Align tights.
The open-plan living space invites motion.
Timber laminate floors. Wide windows.
Perfect for pacing during phone calls that start with
"Hey, just circling back - no stress if not."
On the balcony, the subject surveys its territory.
Coffee in hand.
Considering running the Yarra. Does not.
At Fairview Park, the dog takes command.
Dictates the route. Selects the social circle.
Screens potential mates with unrelenting bias.
Two bedrooms divide the habitat.
One for rest, one for ambition in hibernation.
The walk-in robe stores outfits that never made it out,
and versions of the self that almost did.
Bathroom features dual sinks.
An evolutionary tactic for surviving grooming season.
A bath over shower combo offers versatility
for either deep reflection or shallow rinsing.
Laundry inside. Car park on title.
Markers of a creature who's escaped sharehouse survival.
As night falls, migration begins.
The subject hesitates
to return to Gibson's Wine Bar,
where everyone has a mortgage, a meal plan, and opinions on offsets,
or cross into Swan Street,
where everyone works in "creative strategy"
and commitment is something they do to Pilates, not people.
It chooses adventure.
The hunt proves unsuccessful.
The species retreats home,
shedding its going-out skin in the walk-in robe,
and ignoring the red kitchen once more.
Dinner: unwrapped, not earned.
Wine poured. Dignity medium-rare.
Fed. Lit. Still single.
Quietly thriving in its new ecosystem.
Finer Details
Owners Corporation Fees: $2,800 per annum (approx.)
Council Rates: $1,594 per annum (approx.)
Water Rates: $792 per annum (approx.)
Rental Appraisal: $650 per week (approx.)
Title: Strata
No. In Building: 1 of 21
Internal Size: 84sqm (approx.)
Property Age: 1968
Floor Level: First Floor
Owner Occupied vs Rented: 50/50
Deposit & Settlement: 10% Deposit, 30 - 60 Days Settlement
Nearby Amenities
Primary School Zone: Glenferrie Primary School
Secondary School Zone: Auburn High School, Melbourne Girls College
Closest Supermarket: Ritchies Hawthorn Square (600m)
Closest Train Station: Hawthorn Station (750m)
Closest Tram: No. 70 & 75 (30m)
Closest Park: Fairview Park (500m)
*All information has been sourced from the vendor and third-party platforms. While deemed reliable, accuracy cannot be guaranteed. Buyers are encouraged to make their own enquiries to verify all details.
